Thursday, November 1, 2012

Hello November


I am fairly certain that I am pretty much talking to myself here. I checked, and I haven't posted since February. That's 8 months. Yikes! This year has flown by, and I seriously don't know where it went. For a long time, this blog was pretty much the only thing in life that I was consistent with. I think I posted over 100 times in 2010. I have no idea how I would have gotten through the year after Livie died without this blog and the community that I became a part of because of it. I have no idea where my life would be.

So I'm back! I've been thinking about it a lot lately... and maybe it's because it's been fall which is always a not-so-subtle reminder that it's almost the 20th of November and we're getting close to another birthday.

I've said it before - that I want to start blogging consistently again... and even though I would like to say that this will be the year that I'll stick to it (I measure my years from November to November now, I just realized. I'm not sure if that's good or bad), who knows if I actually will! Consistency and comittment are two things that I really need to work on right now. I have a hard time sticking to anything, and I always blame it on the business of working 50+ hours per week, and working on my Master's degree at the same time. But then, I look around at people around me and realize that somehow, others are able to keep it together and participate in all kinds of things outside of work, and
there's no reason why I can't do the same thing.

I just skimmed through the last 20 posts or so, and realized that this blog makes me look like I have some absolutely CRAZY mood swings! For whatever reason, I pretty much have only blogged when something amazing happened, or when something bad happened, if I was extremely happy or at a very low point. I'm actually a pretty normal person, in case anyone has been wondering.

Earlier this year, I posted about wanting to participate in the One Little Word Project, and chose the word "Focus" as my One Little Word. Well... not only did I not participate in the project, I didn't focus. On any of the things that I wrote about in that blog post when I talked about how I desperately needed focus in my life. Here's the paragraph I'm referring to...

"Not only did that make me start to get burned out on work, but it also meant I wasn't doing anything I love or NEEDED to do/get done. I wasn't having as many quality conversations with my husband, cleaning wasn't getting done, laundry piled up, I stopped scrap booking, blogging, and weeks went by where my camera didn't move from it's bag. It also meant that months went by (seriously) where I didn't go to the gym, AND I didn't take the time to care what I was eating. And don't even mention my shitty communication skills - my friends probably thought I fell off the face of the earth. Thank God for texting, twitter, and facebook, because without those three things, I don't think I would even have friends anymore since I haven't had time to see them.

The result? More pounds, less energy, more stress, a messy house and a bazillion unfinished projects.
Anyway, this is too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. I took this as a sign that I needed to start focusing on what is really important in life. On myself, my husband, our family, God, and what makes me happy and healthy. And yes... I will still have to focus on work :(. But I am going to have to learn how to balance. So, that's my New Year's Resolution - to focus on what's important. I am not sure how it will take shape just yet, but we'll find out.... and the result can only be a good one.
And obviously, in case you haven't figured it out, my One Little Word is {Focus}."

aaaannnddd pretty much absolutely nothing has changed. :). Well, I suppose that's not completely true. Kurt and I have been spending more quality time together and we've been able to hang out with friends a little more often. Also, I've had a bit more time to go to the gym. But other than that... pretty much no change. I'm not going to say that I'm going to participate in the project or anything like that, I'm just reminding myself to start focusing on what's important.

So, it's November 1, which I feel like is a fitting time to start over. I used to have a couple hundred followers that I know read regularly.. but like I said, I'm fairly certain that I'm just talking to myself now. But that's okay. It makes me feel good, and that's the point. I need to re-incorporate the things that make me feel good back into my life, and I think blogging will help me stay focused on that. If I can remember to actual write like I say I'm going to.

Happy Sweet November everyone!!