a little gift.

I checked the mail quickly this afternoon when I stopped at home inbetween my internship at work. Today was a hard day - I was overtired to begin with and had a LOT of work to do, and was just kind of feeling run down.

I opened our mailbox and found a little package, addressed to me. Here's what was in it!

My sweet friend Meredith sent me this little placque - A quote from Cinderalla. She bought it for herself and posted about it on her blog (click here to check it out). I told her how much I loved it, and she sent me one as a surprise.

I met Meredith on a message board that I used to frequent a LOT shortly after I lost Olivia, and shortly after she lost her first little girl. She's one of the most amazing people that I've ever "met" (we've never met in person, but I'm hoping we'll get the chance to someday!), and she's been my saving grace that has helped me get through some especially hard days - she always knows just what to say.... or send :)

It was the perfect pick-me-up, just what I needed today. Thank you Mere!

untitled.

I've been having sort of a hard time lately, but haven't really had time to have a hard time. That doesn't really make any sense. Things have really picked up with school lately, and between all of my classes, my internship, still trying to work a few hours a week at my part time job, I've been spending every spare second working on the wedding... I really haven't had time to think about Livie.

Don't get me wrong, I think about her every day. But before we got so insanely busy, I had a lot of extra time to do things that made me feel connected to her, and now I just don't. I hadn't realized that until today, when it occured to me that her first birthday is two months from yesterday. I have been working on her scrapbook and the plan had always been to have it completed by her first birthday and share it with family members. With everything that's going on, there's no way that it will be finished in time.

In my logical mind, I know that it's okay and that it doesn't make a difference. In my mommy mind, I feel horrible. I hate that I've had a year to make a scrapbook of my daughters 3 day life, and it's not done. That doesn't seem right to me.

I'm not really trying to make any type of point with this post... I guess I'm just trying to say that I feel bad.

and I miss her.

and that's all.

Bowen

Do any of you guys listen to Sanctus Real? The lead singer, Matthew Hammit, and his wife Sarah just welcomed baby Bowen into the world last week. They discovered a couple of months ago that Bowen had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS).

Bowen had heart surgery yesterday, and at first things looked great. But last night, things took a turn for the worst and Matt and Sarah were told that he may not make it. A nurse pumped his heart by hand until the doctor arrived, and then he underwent emergency surgery while his father watched. Today, he is on full life support. It's my understanding that right now they are playing the waiting game, and things could go either way.

This is the prayer request from the Hammit's website, Bowen's Heart.

"Please pray for our sweet little baby boy that he would grow to love God and see his unique heart as a gift. Please pray that he would not endure too much physical pain; this is a lot for a child to bear. Pray for our little girls to find peace and understanding, that they would come to love and know God more through this experience. Please pray for Matthew and I as parents and partners, that God would give us enduring strength and unity. Also, please pray for our parents as they walk with us through what is to come. Thank you for your love and support".

Their story has been talked about for the last few days over and over on K-LOVE, and I know that millions of people are already praying for them all across the country, but I figured that it wouldn't hurt to try to generate just a few more.

Picture Post... and another new puppy.

I don't really have any news to share this time, but I wanted to post a few pictures since I really haven't in a while.

I just really love this picture... we took Jack and Molly to the lake to swim, and they smelled gross and needed afterwards. So, we hosed them down in the back yard for the first time, and I think Jackjack thought he was being punished. he was sitting on the deck shivering looking SOO pitiful afterward, I just had to take a picture! haha!

 After I posted this... I just realize that I never posted about Jack!! After we went to the farm and picked out Molly (which I posted about a couple of months ago), we went back to visit. She was so little the day we picked her out, that we were able to hold her but she wasn't big enough to run around in the grass. The breeder guy said that we should come back one time to see her when she was old enough to run around and interact with the other dogs. SO, when we went back, she was running around in the grass, and one of the little boy puppies was following her around EVERYWHERE. Then, when all the puppies fell asleep in their little dog house thing, the two of them stayed by us and just kept crawling into our laps. We joked about how we felt so horrible for having to leave Molly's sidekick behind when we would eventually take her home. So... we bought both. They are definitely a handful, but it's so fun having TWO snuggly puppies to cuddle with instead of just one!

The light one is Molly, and the dark one is Jack.

These next two are from when Kurt and I went to our highschool's football game last week

That's about it. Sorry, not a very exciting post but I felt like I needed to do an update of some kind since it's been a little bit! :)