stupid bedspread and butter yellow

If I have learned one lesson from the first 4 months of marriage {It's 4 months today!}, it is to NOT spend money on expensive bedding.

I am so annoyed right now! When we first moved into our apartment last year, we had a comforter set that I think I got on clearance from JCPenny, so it was pretty darn cheap. I mean like $30 cheap. The fabric covering the cotton batting stuff on the inside of the comforter was so thin that it ripped on the under side on the bottom of the comforter where our feet touched it every night. SUPER crappy, but I only spent $30 on it so I wasn't surprised that it was a POS. So naturally, this led me to the conclusion that in order to have a comforter that would last, I would need to spend a boat load of cash on it.
When it came time to register for wedding gifts, I decided that the only way for us to "upgrade" would be to register for a new set. We got a BEAUTIFUL bedding set at my bridal shower from Kurt's mom...

{Super bizarre picture of me, I think I look like I'm drunk, but whatev}

I have so many problems with this set. First of all, see those buttons? NONE of them are currently on the comforter. Actually, I think there might be one lonely little guy still hangin' out. When we FIRST put it on the bed, we realized that the puppies would probably chew on those. Also, we realized that since the entire thing is basically embroidered, their little claws and rough pads on the bottoms of their feet would shred it up. So I went to Target and bought a green quilt that matches. Every single time the dogs are going to sleep with us, we pull the quilt up so that it covers the area they are going to lay on. And still, the buttons all fell off. Then, there are the pills OHHhhh so many pills. I wish you could see it. I tried to take a picture but it just didn't do it justice. It looks awful.  This would be acceptable if we had been using this comforter for 10 years, or even 5 years. But 4 months? and with a quilt pulled up over it most of the time? That's just ridiculous. Especially because it cost upwards of $240.  I remember registering for it and telling Kurt that getting it as a gift was the only way we would be able to have such a nice set... and since it was so nice it would last for years and years! We won't have to spend money on a comforter for YEARS!

I couldn't have been more wrong. When we move, that piece of crap is going straight into the dumpster. Okay I probably will donate it, but I am so mad at it that I want to throw it away. Or maybe we'll keep it as a spare. I don't know - what I do know is that it will never grace the top of our bed ever again.

So I've been researching some options for when it's time to replace it. We'll hopefully be moving in August? July? September? Somewhere at the end of the summer or the beginning of the fall. I might be looking a little bit too early... my greatest fear is that the things I want won't be available anymore by the time we are ready to move. I want to wait until we move because our current bedroom walls are painted green (to match the stupid comforter) and I am currently obsessed with.... YELLOW AND GREY!  I struggle with finding colors and prints that are feminine enough but also have just enough masculine to make Kurt feel like it's OUR room and not just mine. How my mom has gotten my dad to go along with all of the Rose/Floral bedspreads she's bought over the years is beyond me. Another reason for the yellow - Right now, our room is in the basement. And we have no windows. We have an overhead light and accent lamps, and keep both doors (we have two) open during the day, but it is so dark in there! Perfect for days when we want to sleep in, but awful for the days when morning comes to early and it still looks like it's midnight in our room. I didn't realize how much that would drive me nuts while I was choosing the colors for our room, and I feel like the green shades we chose make it seem even more dim. In our next home, I am going to be all about bright, sunny colors. I don't think Kurt will go for that completely, so the gray will tone it down a bit. That's my compromise.

I have been saving pieces of inspiration for weeks now. It's become my newest obsession. I always start way too early. Actually, it's not really a new obsession. Growing up, I wanted to be an interior designer, and even sent away for information about the interior design programs RMCAD and the Art Institute in San Diego but obviously, didn't go. So, since I don't have clients to design for, I'll just design for myself and annoy the readers of my blog with it? Sounds good to me. Except for the part about not getting paid for it...

I put this inspiration board together myself using digital papers from Molly Mac & Me

Dwell Studio for Target

 

DSLR Camera Strap from Etsy Seller MelVDesigns...

I know that this doesn't have anything to do with a bedroom... but THIS is EXACTLY the color combination I want. PERFECT gray, PERFECT yellow. Maybe I can talk her into making a me a bedspread? for the same price as a camera strap? no? dang it.

I am realizing that I can't find exactly what I want. That tends to happen often. I am kind of thinking that the best way to go might be to purchase a plain jane grey comforter, a butter yellow throw, and add pillows like THESE.

These are both from Etsy seller Bedbuggs

This one is from Jilly Bean Things

Project life.... Thursday?

 

MY COMPUTER IS BACK.
Actually, it's been back for a couple of weeks, but it's taken me a while to get caught up on the last 6 weeks or so of Project Life.

Nothing too exciting! The only thing extra that I added was a 8/5x11 page protector to put our Valentine's Day cards in. It's way too big for them, so I'm planning on stitching around them ASAP.{More about that in a later post}. I have plans to get a lot more creative with my layouts, but because I was so far behind because I couldn't upload or edit OR print photos, I decided to just print the pictures and write on the journaling cards and be done with it. I'm glad to have everything back the way it needs to be now so that I can start making this album the way I actually want it to look.

Starbucks & Kate

This morning, I had a coffee date with my old friend Katie {Katie has a super cute Etsy shop which you should totally check out. And a cute blog, check that out too}. She is a newlywed also, and lives in Iowa with her husband. This week, she's in town to visit her mama who just happens to live up the street from us. She picked me up in her little red bug and we spent two hours at Starbucks. It was so nice to catch up. We've been friends since the early days of high school, but have lived in different states ever since.

Katies Dad passed away very recently, and at one point I asked her how her mom was doing with that. We talked about it for a few minutes, and then she said, "how are you doing?" Without thinking twice, I responded by saying something about how I'd been good, just feeling so ready to graduate and start working.

Tonight as I was folding laundry and listening to the new Adele album, I was thinking about our conversation and it occured to me that she was asking me about how I was doing with losing Olivia. That should have been obvious to me because of the context of the conversation... but for whatever reason, it wasn't. {Kate, if you're reading this and that's not even what you meant at all... let me know :) }

This is the first time - or at least the first time that I've noticed - that my first instinct wasn't to answer the question with something grief/loss related. Once I realized this, It was a very, VERY good feeling. I think it's definitely another milestone that tells me I'm healing. I have used this comparison before, but I used to say that even if good things were going on, I still felt like no matter what, I was being followed around everywhere by a big gray cloud that seemed to be saying to me, "You can try to be as happy as you want, but you won't ever actually be happy because your daughter is dead". I'm sure my fellow baby loss mamas can identify with that. Don't get me wrong - I am still sad, a lot, and I think about Olivia or something related to her in some capacity every day, and I probably always will. Sometimes every hour of the day. But I'm definitely healing, and that's a good thing.

On another note, one of the starbucks employees brought in cupcakes for everyone to try while we were there. Supposedly, she made them by using a white cake mix and adding in Starbucks VIA Mocha mix. They were okay... they looked much cuter then they tasted. I found a recipe for VIA cupcakes here... and I might just be trying it out this weekend. I'll let you know if it's a giant fail or not...

healthy eating

For me, the most difficult thing about weight loss is staying on track with eating well.

I love to eat out. I have always been of the school of thought that "if we're going to eat out, I'm going to get something DELICIOUS and AMAZING". For me, that usually means pasta with some kind of cream sauce... the calories of which add up to be more than an average person's daily required amount. Pasta is my favorite thing in the entire world - if you know me personally, you're probably laughing because you know that I could eat noodles with a little butter and a ton of parmesean cheese for every single meal. I pretty much did this during my freshman year of college when I lived away from my parents for the first time ever. I was so active though that I never really noticed a change in my waistline. Now, it's a different story. :)

I also love to cook! I have an addiction to cook books and trying new recipes. Until recently, the types of recipes I would make were not very nutritious. Delicious, but not nutritious.

I have scoured the internet for blogs and websites that promote healthy eating.  I wanted to share a couple of my absolute favorites that have been helping me stay on track over the past month. Not that I've stayed completely on track... but you know what I mean.

Cheap, Healthy, Good. "Cheap Healthy Good is a blog dedicated to the advancement of frugal, nutritious, ethically-minded food in everyday life." This blog is Ah-MAZING. Seriously amazing. I have made a handful of their recipes over the past month and can't wait to try more. I have been bookmarking healthy eating websites and blogs for the better part of a year, and have found some great ones but very rarely find exactly what I'm looking for. This one has everything I look for. Their recipes are EASY - easy enough for fast week night dinners, and they don't require fancy ingredients that are only carried at Whole Foods (which i love, but can't afford to shop at all the time). They also post great articles about healthy eating, like things to keep in mind while dining out, and they explain the reasoning behind the recipes they post. This one is one of my favorites ... 10 Cheap Shortcuts to Making Cooking Oh-So-Much Easier.

Hungry Girl. This has been one of my favorites for a couple of years. Read this section of the "Who is HG" area of the website... "Lisa is a typical woman battling the same food issues most females struggle with every day. Lisa considers herself a “foodologist,” not because she has some kind of fancy degree, but because she is obsessed with food –– how wonderful it is, and how much of it she can eat and still fit into her pants." Story of my life! Except I haven't been nearly as successful as she has at finding things that I can eat a lot of and still fit into my pants.  I fell off the HG band wagon for a while. And when I say a while, I mean 373 days. How do I know this? Because HG sends free daily e-mails with new recipes. I have a special Hugnry Girl folder in my Yahoo Mail, and there are 373 unread e-mails in it. I thought about it, and realized that number is a pretty accurate indicator of how long I haven't been giving a crap about fitness and healhy eating.

Anyway, one of my favorite things about Hungry girl is that they don't even really give you new recipes. Most of their recipes are "swaps", which means they teach you how to make something that you LOVE into something that you still love... it's just healthy this time. Like potato salad made with cauliflower, called "I Can't Believe It's Not Potato Salad" (You seriously can NOT tell!), Rockin' Restaurant Spinach Dip (one of my favorite things on the planet and only 72 calories per serving!!), and Cheeseburger Quesadillas.

There are several Hungry Girl cook books AND... (you have no idea how excited I am about this), a new Hungry Girl TV show on The Cooking Channel. I just found that out less than 2 minutes ago when I went to the website.  I am SUPER pumped about this people.

Please share with me... Do you have a favorite resource for healthy recipes? I am always looking for new inspiration! How do you stay motivated?

Love Never Fails

I just wanted to share something sweet with you guys tonight.

At our wedding, my Aunt Lisa played the guitar and sang Brandon Heath's "Love Never Fails". I think it was while we were lighting the Unity Candle. She did such a beautiful job. Out of all of the songs we chose for our special day, this one was my favorite. I loved it from the moment I first heard it, and knew all along that I wanted this to be played during the ceremony. My Aunt Lisa is the most amazing singer in the world and she also plays a mean accoustic guitar... so when I ran across the guitar tabs online while looking for the lyrics to the song, I knew it was going to be perfect. I hardly even remember listening to her play it during the wedding because I was so overwhelmed with everything going on, especially not lighting the church on fire with the unity candle tapers.. but when we watched the video a few weeks later I cried the whole time.

Tonight, Brandon {we're obviously on a first name basis} was playing a show at a local church here in town. I think that one of the best things about Christian artists is that even when they become super popular, they play smaller shows and don't charge an arm and a leg for tickets! My sister-in-law went to the concert with a friend and got to meet him! She brought this home for us:

It says, "Kurt and Betsy, Love never fails". How cool! I think it was sweet of Jordynn to mention us to him when she met him, and also super sweet of him to take the time to care. I am so excited to add this to our wedding scrapbook as soon as I show it to Kurt when he gets home tonight {we went bowling and then he dropped me off to go have a MUCH needed guys night out, which he hasn't had in months and months... we even had joint bachelor/bachelorette parties!}. How many people can say that they have something like this in their wedding album? :)

If you've never heard the song, here it is!

ps: PLEASE don't make the mistake of searching for the song on YouTube and clicking on the one that says "Kathy Lee Gifford - Love Never Fails". I panicked for a second and thought maybe she sang it first. I did a little research and confirmed my belief that Brandon Heath wrote it... but still felt like I needed to watch the KLG video. YUUUUCK.  oh my god. bad.bad.bad. Seriously the worst song and video ever.

soooore legs! UGH!

I am feeling a little bit discouraged, for a few reasons.

First, I ate three cookies for breakfast. Why? Oh, good question.
I have no idea.  I made a batch last night to take to my practicum today, but ended up not having to go. So I'll be taking them tomorrow. So while I was waiting for my coffee this morning, I ate a few. I started feeling guilty while I was chewing the first bite of the first cookie... but I didn't stop myself.

Why do I have no will power! Ugh, I frustrate myself so much. We are also going out to dinner and bowling with some friends tonight. Usually, we do things like this once a week, and allow it to be our "cheat day" where were eat whatever and don't go to the gym. But I'm feeling icky about eating like crap, so I'm not skipping the gym. In fact, Kurt's already there, and I'm sitting at my coffee table watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High while I wait for my ipod to charge.

Have you ever forgotten to check your iPod, and gotten to the gym only to find that it's dead? That's torture. Working out with nothing to listen to is seriously awful.

In this post from the other day where I wrote about running on the treadmill for 7 minutes, I forgot to mention that it was "legs day" for Kurt... and he talked me into doing it with him. Oh. My. God. That was on saturday... and on Monday I was still so sore that I could barely walk. I mean, I didn't do exactly the same thing as him, I reduced the weight by a LOT, but still. awful. My practicum supervisor even showed me how to massage my leg muscles by sitting on a tennis ball and rolling back and forth. It was horrible. On one hand, I felt good about it because it meant that whatever I did must be something that works, and Kurt said that everyone always feels that bad after they do legs for the first time. But on the other hand, I didn't work out on Sunday, and I skipped Zumba when it resumed on Monday. On Tuesday, I felt like I was totally half-assing it in Zumba because My legs still hurt, so anything that required jumping or high-knee moves, I barely did. After a month straight of not skipping a class or a scheduled work out unless I had a meeting or something during it, I missed three days!  It felt like crap - I could definitely tell the difference. I know that it wasn't like I was skipping because I was laying around on the couch eating cake or something, but it still made me feel like crap.

I'm having a hard time feeling like i'm back in the swing of things. I need to remind myself that I am not, nor will I ever be a former Marine, and I probably shouldn't try to work out like one. Yikes!

2011 Academy Awards

Oscar night is one of my favorite nights of the year. It was always a big deal in my house when we were growing up. My sister and I would watch it with our mom and grandma every year. Even when I was too young to see any of the movies, I loved watching the red carpet to see the gorgeous dresses.

I thought the show this year was amazing. I actually have only seen one movie (Toy Story 3, ha!) that was nominated for anything, but Anne Hathaway is one of my *very* favorite actresses. I think she is so beautiful and her style is so timeless. I knew it was going to be a great show. I really think she did a fabulous job. I love James Franco also, but I don't think hosting is his forte. They went with a very "Old Hollywood" theme for this year, which I love. I am a sucker for anything vintage.

Anne wore EIGHT dresses last night. Or I guess, 7 dresses and 1 tuxedo with the most amazing shoes E-V-E-R. Also, her hair was different for every outfit that she came out in. I will never understand how they change and redo their hair and makeup that fast. And manage to look amazing every single time!

My favorite dress is the one she wore on the red carpet.

Out of everyone, I think my absolute TOP favorite was Hailee Steinfeld, who was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for True Grit. She is only 14 and she looked so adorable. Her dress was classic and sweet and just so perfect for her age, unlike so many of the other "famous" teenagers right now. I can't even count how many times I've seen Miley on a red carpet and wanted to throw up!

And, um... did anyone see Jennifer Hudson? Are you kidding me!? She looks so amazing. I seriously can't believe that she looks this good. After having a baby. I love knowing that she worked EXTREMELY hard to get to this point. I actually don't care for this dress at all... but she looks damn good in it!

One of my other favorites was Natalie Portman. I know a lot of grieving ladies read my blog, so I'm not going to shove a picture of her pregnant self in everyone's face. I just thought it was nice that she looked so classy - a lot of pregnant celebrities get a little bit too carried away with dresses that are WAY too tight. In the words of Joan Rivers, "I'm not interested in seeing whether a pregnant woman has an innie or an outtie".

I spent the evening at my parents house. As I mentioned above, the ladies of the family watch the awards together every year.  My mom is adorable and actually decorated for our little party this year!

V.I.P Entrance

Stars, plastic Oscars and candles on the mantel

And more little awards on the coffee table!

Even little Lucy was all decked out for the red carpet! She looked hysterical in her little dress. She greeted me at the door when I walked in, and I was so glad I brought my camera. My family makes me laugh.

This was my attempt at getting a picture of all of us... ha! My grandma somehow didn't even make it into the picture, but my sister looks cute!

Have a happy week!!