Katie's Birthday

Today would have been my big sister Katie's 25th birthday. For those of you who don't already know, she was stillborn in 1986, about 10 months before me. I was their "Rainbow Baby". My mom went to the doctor for a regular check up at about 37 weeks or so and there was no heartbeat. We have one picture of her that is just a poloroid, and it has started to discolor a little bit. I scanned it for my mom recently and re-printed it so that it wouldn't age anymore, but it makes me sad that it's the only one they have. I was thinking about posting it here, but I don't want to do that without my mom's "ok".

My parents are going to her cemetary in Iowa today to take her some flowers and dragonfly garden picks to put in the ground. For years her stone has been sinking into the ground and looking kinda like crap, and the cemetary finally fixed it! I'm sure that seeing it look nice again will ease my mom's mind a little bit. That might seem like no big deal to a lot of people, but when the only thing you can do for your child is keep their grave site looking nice, it is a big deal.

It sounds strange, but knowing that my parents still think about Katie all the time after 25 years and after having two more girls is comforting to me. It really shows that having more kids does not in any way, shape, or form replace the one(s) that have been lost.

I'm thinking about my Mom and Dad today, and of course about Katie who I'm sure would have been the best big sister ever.