Thursday, August 19, 2010

August 19th: Day of Hope & Breaking the Silence

I've written about this before.

I'll keep writing about it until something changes.

Pregnancy and infant loss is a taboo subject.

Seriously, think about it! If you are the mother of a lost baby, think about what you knew before you went through it yourself. I know that I had absolutely NO idea how common miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss really are. It's absolutely sickening to find out that information.

Because people don't know, and therefore don't talk about it, those of us who have lost our babies are made to feel uncomfortable when talking about our deceased child.

Those of you who have children and have never lost one - can you imagine not being able to talk about your baby whenever you feel like it, or feeling like you have to apologize for the way talking about your child makes others feel?

It really sucks. Of course, we have our family and close friends who we are able to talk about our children with, and thats fabulous. But it really sucks, to be at someones house and see a little outfit hanging in their daughter's closet and think "Oh! I bought that for Olivia last year", and then have to think to yourself, "should I say that out loud? Or will it make them feel awkward because they have no idea what to say". Usually, I choose the latter option, because making the other person feel awkward makes me feel awkward.

No one should have to silence their thoughts about their children. Period.

August 19th is a day of hope, a day for families to speak openly about their children, and a day to celebrate their lives - whether that life was spent only inside their mother's womb or whether they lived for a few days/weeks/years on earth.  This is a day where wonce a year, people can speak about pregnancy, infant and child loss, and attempt to break down the walls so that people aren't afraid to speak about their children anymore.

I encourage you to visit to learn more about this special day.

Please keep in mind that miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant/child loss doesn't just affect that child's mom and dad, it affects the grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends that were all joyously awaiting the arrival of that special baby. Don't forget about them, either.

I wish that this day wasn't close to my heart. I wish that we hadn't lost our daughter, and that my parents hadn't lost their daughter, and then their grand daughter 23 years later. But we did, and they did, and so today, we will celebrate the lives of the daughters that we can no longer hold in our arms.

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m&msmommy said...

Beautiful post! And thank you for bringing up the point about the grandparents, aunt, uncles, etc. Although my heartache can't even compare to my sisters when she lost her boys, my heart was still broken over losing my nephews. I am SO sorry for your loss!

Holly said...

I know all of us loss moms are not afraid to speak about it and our children!! Sending hugs today

Lara + Chris said...

Great post. I'm so inspired by everything that they come up with.

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