Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter!

But it is preached that Christ has been rasied from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?
If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised.
And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.

 More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead.
 But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised.
 For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either.
And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile, you are still in your sins.

 Then thise who also have fallen asleep in Christ are lost.
If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
- 1 Corinthians 15:12-19

I believed in God before Olivia was born and died... I had already accepted Christ as my lord and savior. But I know that my faith in Him as been made so much stronger because of her. If that was the only thing she was sent to accomplish during her sweet life, she did a fantastic job. I would not have gotten through these past four months without her, without Him. I know that for sure.

Today in church, part of the sermon was about how no good that we have in our lives would be possible without the resurrection. Or maybe it would be, but it wouldn't mean anything. There would be no purpose or direction for our lives.  Our pastor also made some points about why he believes in the resurrection, and how he knows it to be true. He talked about some of the theories that have been brought up over the years that have caused people to question it. He made such an awesome point about the "wrong tomb" theory. It says that the women who discovered Jesus was missing from that tomb must have just been so upset that they walked to the wrong one... so everything that our faith is built on is just based on a huge mistake. Pastor Curt said that he knows that EVERYONE there had lost someone that meant a great deal to them... a parent, sibling, spouse or maybe even a child even if it's been 20 years since you visited that person's cemetary... couldn't you find where their tombstone is without even thinking about it? You can't tell me that those women, who loved Jesus so much, forgot after just THREE DAYS where his body was being kept? Great right? That really resonated with me today and I felt like I needed to share it.

Our pastor also talked about how people who don't believe in Christ have a much harder time dealing with the death of those loved ones. Because of what I believe, I know that I will see my baby again. That is a really hard thing to grasp sometime - it's obviously such an abstract concept because no one who is here on earth right now has been able to experience that and report back to us about what it's like. I mean, seriously... if someone tried to say that they knew what it was like, we would dismiss them as insane! But it is so true. It's what keeps me going every single day. I know I will get to see my little girl again, and as one of my blog-friends said about her son, Olivia is having the best Easter celebration possible right now. She's celebrating with the "star of the show"! :)

I have thought about her so much this weekend. Yesterday, Kurt and I went to the mall to get him something new to wear for Easter. We were going up the escalator in one store, and we rode up right past all the sweet Easter dresses for little girls. Ugh, it made my heart hurt.  I saw so many sweet babies in little dresses with pink rumba tights at church it made my head spin! I have tried so hard not to let myself think about what we "should" be doing with her, but man is it hard! Sometimes its just impossible.

After Church this morning we went out to brunch with Kurt's family, and then he and I visited her at the cemetary. Her marker hasn't been placed yet, but we took her an easter lily and a happy easter helium balloon. I hate standing there over that tiny rectangle of dirt. It just seems like a grave that small shouldn't be allowed! I think it will be a lot less painful when there's grass  - then we won't be constantly reminded of the size of her itty bitty preemie-sized casket.

After the Cemetary, we headed over to my Grandma's to have another brunch with my mom's side of the family. I wasn't planning on actually eating brunch for a second time, but... I did! Oh well, does anyone ACTUALLY stick to their diets on Easter?  It was a very nice time.. not long enough! Then we came home and napped together on the couch. Now we're watching the 4th week of The Pacific on HBO. Kurt is totally in his element right now - he could watch these kinds of shows all day long.

Here's some pictures from the day. My dress was yellow, but it looks white in the pictures! They are a little bit blurry, but otherwise I think they turned out great!

My mama and I

My sister Abbie

Kurt and I

The whole fam. This is the first time I've ever realized how much shorter my mom is than all of us!

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