Tuesday, February 9, 2010

a better day today.

Wow. I certainly was in a dark place last night when I wrote that post below. I guess it was just one of those days. I do feel all of those things that I wrote about... but those days really are becoming few and far between, and I am thankful for that.

Today, I called and made an appointment with my OB, and also left a message for the therapist I wrote about to call me back. I looked her up on their website, and her profile says that she is Christian and very active in her church. That is something that is very important to me. Not that I'm active in our church or anything (far from it), but my faith has been what's been holding me together for the past few months. I think having a therapist who is very Christian will make me feel more comfortable as I've been aprehensive to talk about my feelings to a complete stranger. I also love that she specializes in infant loss, and also depression, anxiety, and grief. Now that I think about it though, don't all therapists kind of specialize in depression and anxiety?

Just being proactive and calling to make those appointments made a world of difference for me today. I was able to come home, clean the apartment, do laundry, dishes, make dinner, and do homework... without feeling like I needed to stop and lay down on the couch to zone out and close out the world.

As for weight watchers... Holy. Crap. I am not looking forward to having to weigh in on Thursday night. I haven't been counting my points (at all), and my eating habits have been CRAP for the last few days. I made spinach dip, and we ordered Papa Johns for dinner during the Super Bowl last night. I also ate an entire bag of M&Ms while we were sitting there. Kurt and his mom had a handful or two... but I ate most of it! UGH. Time to get my @$$ in gear this week. No excuses. I think I said that last week? But I mean it this time!

Also, I want to thank my new friend Meredith for such a beautiful comment on my last post. I wasn't reaching out for attention, I just knew I would feel better if I put everything Iwas feeling into words. I never expected to get such an amazing response. My favorite thing about this blogging world is the opportunity to connect with people who I would never have the chance to meet or talk to otherwise. She lost a daughter too, and I have been finding that she and I are a lot alike. Her words touched my heart, and really made my night tonight.

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2 comments:

The McNeil Family said...

You are so very welcome, Betsy!! I am glad I could bring some sunshine to your day.

Joannah said...

Betsy, this is one blog post where I feel like I a can actually say something from experience..lol. I have no idea of the feelings that you are going through, but I do have experience with counseling; it is great! It was totally weird for me to talk to a stranger at first, but it's crazy how i became so comfortable so fast. I feel like it was almost easier to talk to a stranger at first because it would be harder for them to judge you rather than someone you already know really well. So, I just found myself spilling my guts and knowing if I didn't feel comfortable after, or we didn't make a connection, I would never have to see that person again. It didn't work out that way, but it helped me knowing I could do that. Keep positive, and I hope that counseling works out well for you!!

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